Tag Archives: communication

Are You Communicating a Good First Impression?

Posted on June 2011 | Leave a comment

Illustration by Mad Artists at Dreamstime.com

First impressions are created in 30 seconds or less. And if you make a bad first impression, it takes 20 additional experiences to correct it.

That first impression communicates volumes about who you are and what you value. I can get a quick glance of someone’s business values in a few simple ways:

Is his business card professionally designed and printed on a clean, crisp stock? Or is it a “do-it-yourself” job on a flimsy paper and ink that’s crumbling off?
Is her Web site aesthetically pleasing and offering content that’s warm, inviting and easy-to-scan? Or does it have boring content, difficult navigation, broken links and a bad design?
Does his email address match his domain name? Or is he using a Gmail or Yahoo account?

Are You Kidding Me?!

People amaze me. I am continually fascinated by folks that hand out crappy business cards, set up irrelevant Web sites and use Gmail or Yahoo accounts as their primary email. Then they wonder: “Why can’t I get any business?”

I want to say (but never do), “It’s probably because you’re sending the message that you don’t take your business seriously.”

Because if you don’t care enough about your business to present yourself professionally, why should anyone else care?

That statement may make you bristle. Your head may be filling with responses like “But I don’t have a marketing budget” or “It’s too expensive.” I know costs are a big concern for all of us right now. But consider this:

How much is it costing you every time a potential customer walks away because your marketing isn’t communicating the right message?

Make Their Decision a Simple One

Your marketing materials should speak for you when you’re not present. But they should also speak for you before you even meet your new client.

I’ve had several clients call me after visiting my site, introducing themselves and saying, “I liked your site and the way you write. I have a project I need some writing help with…”

The way I see it, my site “sold” these clients before they ever met me. They saw that I cared enough to invest in quality design, thoughtful navigation, inviting content and more.

Quality doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. But it will cost something and if you’re serious about your business, you should have a marketing budget and a marketing plan. Period.

What do you think? As always, your comments are welcome.

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Posted in communication, marketing

Tagged business, communication, first impressions, marketing

Writing Business Emails

Posted on April 2011 | Leave a comment

Photo by Robert S. Donovan

Writing business emails is an everyday occurrence. Most of us tap out an email without a second thought. But, after seeing some of the emails I receive, maybe they deserve a second thought.

Bad grammar and nonsensical sentence structure inundate emails. I seriously wonder if some of these folks run spell check, much less take a glance at what they’ve written.

It all gets down to paying attention. Sure, it takes an extra moment or two to proof an email before hitting “send.” But that moment can be the difference between communicating a good impression or a bad one. Don’t you think it’s worth a few seconds of your time?

Communicating well isn’t difficult, but it does take mindfulness. Here are a few quick tips for your emails, along with a couple of other options when communicating with colleagues and clients.

Make the subject line pertinent to the email topic so you don’t confuse the reader.
If the length of your email rivals War and Peace, put it in a Word document and send it as an attachment. Your email should offer a brief summary of the document.
PowerPoint attachments work too.
Stay focused on your topic, and get to the point quickly.
Avoid long paragraphs and sentences. Use plenty of white space to make it easier on the reader’s eye.
Remember that more people are checking email on their cell phones. Bullets or numbered lists can make reading easier.
If you have a complicated topic that would be simpler to explain verbally, pick up the phone or schedule a conference call.
Consider using instant messaging if a quick conversation will save writing an email at all.

Remembering that your email isn’t the only one in the recipient’s box can help you communicate more effectively in your writing. As always, your comments are welcome.

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Posted in business, communication, writing

Tagged business, communication, email, writing

We’ve All Been Demoted by Facebook

Posted on March 2011 | 2 Comments

In January, I took a 21-day sabbatical from my personal Facebook page. Even though I figured it’d be hard to disconnect, I knew I needed a change. I was getting a little too dependent on the mindless scanning that Facebook offers me. It’s like a technological sedative for the brain.

While I was relieved to be disconnected, I experienced an information blackhole that meant I didn’t know what was going on in people’s lives. Even the “big news” passed me by. The strange thing was, I didn’t mind that much.

The Good Ol’ Days

Do you remember how communication worked before social networking came along? When good news like an engagement occurred, you notified your “tiers” of friends. Tier 1 friends (your closest friends) got the news in-person or via phone; Tier 2 friends received an email; and Tier 3 friends got the news through a passing conversation with a mutual friend.

I was telling my friend Liz that with social networking, it seems we’re all in Tier 3 now. She replied, “Yep. We’ve all been demoted by Facebook.” Well-said.

But I’ve accepted my demotion with dignity and a stiff upper lip. I’ve accepted that my limited time on Facebook means I’ll have less information on what you made for dinner or how you’re feeling at any particular moment. I’ve accepted that I won’t be the first to know your big news unless you make the effort to tell me directly. I’ve also accepted that I’m okay with all that.

For me, even 10 minutes of real, live conversation is richer and sweeter than any communication involving screens or keyboards. I will sacrifice knowing everything going on in your life for just a few minutes of one-on-one conversation with you. Shelby in Steel Magnolias states it beautifully:

“I would rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.”

Here’s wishing you 30+ minutes of “wonderful” this week! As always, your comments are welcomed.

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Posted in communication, social media, social networking

Tagged communication, facebook, social media, social networking

The Quiet Response to Being Spammed By Someone You Know

Posted on February 2011 | 5 Comments

A colleague and I recently conducted an informal survey on spam. Everyone communicated they knew that spam was “unsolicited, bulk email.” But only a handful of people knew that spam includes being put on an email list without permission by someone you know.

Many survey respondents were annoyed to be put on a list without permission, but most said they just unsubscribed if they weren’t interested in it.

Sure, we all go to networking events, exchange cards then start receiving the unexpected newsletter or sales announcement. But giving someone a business card is not giving permission to be added to a mailing list. Period.

WHAT PEOPLE SAY BEHIND YOUR BACK

You may think, “Oh, it’s just part of doing business” or “No one pays attention to that anymore.” But trust me: People are paying attention. They’re just not going to tell you to your face.

For example, one respondent said when he gets spammed by someone he knows, he immediately unsubscribes and tells the sender he didn’t request to be on the email list.

Then, if he actually needs the product or service, he’ll buy it…from the spammer’s competitor!

See what I mean about people not telling you to your face?

MY SUBCONSCIOUS RESPONSE

A woman spammed me last year. I nicely explained that putting someone on a newsletter list without permission was spam, and she seemed okay about accepting the clarification.

Last month, she spammed me again with the same newsletter. I wrote her once again and told her I didn’t request it. Did she respond? Nope.

So how did I respond?

I bought the same coaching service from her competitor. Since then, I’ve also referred said-competitor to nearly a dozen people asking me for referrals. Basically, her behavior established a new client and fan…for her competitor.

I wasn’t aware I did this until I read the survey results. When people knowingly spam me, they leave a bad impression. I feel uncomfortable buying from or referring them. Subconsciously, I think it gets down to one question:

Why would I do business with someone who engages in questionable practices?

I enjoy doing business with people who value honesty, integrity and character. These people consistently treat individuals with respect and kindness. They are concerned with quality — not quantity — when it comes to email subscribers, Facebook friends and more.

Look, I realize people don’t “get” basic etiquette anymore. I know many of you didn’t even realize you’ve been spamming people. (If you’ve been doing this, please stop. Now.)

I also know that there are many folks who know exactly what they’re doing, but they continue to do it anyway. They believe they’re getting away with something. These spammers don’t realize they’re creating a dangerously offensive reputation that encourages potential customers to quietly buy from their competitors.

Remember, spam is also defined as Junk Mail. Do you really want to be known for putting “junk” out there?

I’m just saying…

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Posted in communication, spam

Tagged communication, impression, spam

Communicating a Need

Posted on January 2011 | 2 Comments

Communicating authentically is refreshing. It makes life richer and much more fulfilling. I love that I have friends and family I can communicate with freely.

But even then, one of the most difficult things to communicate is when you have a need. Whether you need love or money or just a few minutes of being heard, communicating a need is hard even for the best communicators.

Why? It puts you in a place of vulnerability, and that’s uncomfortable. And no one wants to be uncomfortable, right?

Last year, car trouble forced me into that uncomfortable spot. Since I’m a one-car family, being car-less is pretty painful. I couldn’t get anywhere except the library and WalMart, which are both within walking distance. I couldn’t even make it to church for rehearsals.

An Important Life Lesson

In Colorado, I had a friend who was barely making it financially. When someone offered something, whether it was freshly baked bread, shoveling her sidewalk or a little cash, she always said yes.

I commented, “I wish I could accept help that easily.” She calmly looked at me and said, “But why not accept? I really appreciate the help, and they know that. If they want to bless me, why would I take that away from them?”

I’d never thought of it that way. My self-involved thinking was more concerned with the way things “looked,” rather than seeing that the blessing goes both ways.

I started being more receptive to this and, eventually, changed my mindset. Now when people offer help, I don’t stutter or fumble around. I don’t immediately say, “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” I just take a moment to think, then I answer. And many times, the answer is yes, thank you.

Back to my Car Story…

When I expressed my car-less state to one friend, she lent me her car for a couple of days. Another friend gave me a ride home from the auto shop. A third friend drove across town to pick me up for weekend church activities. And referrals for honest mechanics came quickly. It was one of the most refreshing weeks of my life.

What about you? Can you change your mindset? I discovered that it’s not that hard, once I checked my ego at the door.

Next time someone offers help, say yes. Or when you need help, ask. You may be surprised by the number of blessings that come your way.

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Posted in communication

Tagged communication, reaching out

Are you “that guy?”

Posted on August 2010 | Leave a comment

Communication comes from the inside out, whether we like it or not. It lets people know what’s really going on inside of us, no matter how good our facade is.

I recently posted this on Facebook:

Michelle Zavala got bumped from behind while in traffic. Fortunately, no damage to car, only to a very upset 16-year-old who just kept saying, “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” Tried to calm her down, telling her that everyone’s done it at least once and if they said they didn’t, they probably weren’t telling the truth, heh.

My heart went out to her as I remembered my first fender-bender. It was in the high school parking lot, and I was an absolute mess about it. Fortunately, the guy whose car I hit was pretty calm. That made it all a little easier to take.

This girl was a bit of a mess too, and I wanted to be sure I didn’t upset her any more. I kept things light (and yes, I took her information, just in case). She gave me her number and asked that I call her first if any damage showed up. I said sure but unless something fell off of my car, I probably wouldn’t need to call. She seemed relieved and said, “Thank you for being so nice about all this, thank you so much.”

I said, “No problem” then got into my car. I wondered, was I really that nice? Or was I just being a decent human being?

After my status update I asked, “When was your first fender-bender?” I received a lot of comments from Facebook friends telling their stories (thus proving my comment that we’ve all done it!). One person said there wasn’t any damage to the cars but the guy made a big deal out of it.

That got me thinking. We’re all only one deep breath away from being kind or being “that guy” (a gender-neutral term).

You know “that guy.” It’s the person who had a bad day at work or has screaming kids in the car and wants to take it out on you.

“That guy” is the jerk who makes a big deal out of the most insignificant thing.

“That guy” is the person who speaks before thinking and is clueless about how foolish his or her behavior looks to others.

“That guy” is the person actively seeking out a reason to rant, rave, turn red in the face and be nasty for no particular reason.

You don’t want to be “that guy,” do you?

Then don’t do it. Next time the option to be “that guy” presents itself, take a deep breath and let it out slowly before you speak. You’ll be glad you did.

Wishing you a refreshing and productive day, without any run-ins with “that guy.”

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Posted in communication, interpersonal communication

Tagged communication, effective communication, interpersonal communication

Improve self-communication through your dreams

Posted on July 2010 | Leave a comment

Improving your communication with others is great. But improving communication with yourself is priceless. There are plenty of exercises and opportunities for self-reflection, but if you want to know what’s really going on, ask your subconscious.

Why do you care about your subconscious? Because it’s the part of you that’s “running the show.” Your beliefs, values and more are buried there. So are your problem-solving abilities.

Dreams access your subconscious mind. I hear a lot of people say, “I don’t dream when I sleep” but the truth is, everyone dreams. The difference is that not everyone remembers their dreams.

A dream exercise
Dreams are a wonderful way to get in touch with your true self, solve problems and improve creativity. Here’s a great article in the July/August issue of More magazine. “The Sleep Cure” explains how you can solve problems through your dreams.

I’ve been doing an exercise similar to this for a number of years. I wake up almost every morning remembering my dreams. Sometimes I recall specific details, sometimes I simply wake up with the essence of the dream. I’ve solved many problems this way over the years.

This includes creative problems. For example, I was recently struggling with the best way to present web content in a limited word count. Many web sites are designed to allow only a certain number of words or characters in a defined space.

Writing short copy takes a lot more time than writing long copy. Many non-writers don’t understand this, but it’s true. So I was waffling about my approach. I went to bed, asking for a solution and the next morning, I had it. I scribbled it down quickly on a notepad, then went to the kitchen for my morning tea.

Problem-solving through dreams works. Give it a try, and let me know what happens!

Have a refreshing and productive day!

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Posted in communication, creativity

Tagged communication, creative flow, creativity, effective communication

Communicating expectations makes family vacations fun

Posted on July 2010 | 1 Comment

Communicating before a family vacation can make the difference in whether you have memories that are fun or forgettable. A key factor to creating fond memories is communicating your expectations.

We all have expectations, even if we don’t communicate them. When you turn on the faucet, you expect water to come out. When you flip a switch, you expect the light to come on. And when you get together with your family, you expect…

What do you expect? Do you expect tension? Or do you expect to have a relaxing, fun time?

You can defuse potentially stressful situations by communicating expectations upfront, while you’re still in your vacation planning stages. This has worked extremely well for my family, leading to some of the most delightful getaways for all of us.

Getting agreement
A few years ago, we took my mom to New York City for her birthday. I asked each family member what they wanted to see and do while we were there. Responses ranged from seeing a Broadway show to visiting the Statue of Liberty and the “Today Show” to eating pizza in Little Italy.

I put together our plan for the week. I made sure each person got to see or do at least one thing on his or her list so that expectation would be fulfilled. I also scheduled in plenty of rest time and a couple of extra activities in case it rained.

We all discussed and agreed on the schedule, the rest times and more. I believe that agreement was key to helping everyone have a relaxing time in the Big Apple. Even with a little running around in the rain, we all had a blast!

For my birthday a month ago, I asked my family for a trip to the beach. I stated that my expectations were to relax and do nothing for a week.

My mom is big on planning and preparing meals when we’re together, but the rest of us aren’t. I specifically said I didn’t want any big meal planning or lengthy cooking time going on — All I wanted was to hang out together. We all agreed to take whatever was currently in the pantry or refrigerator and buy groceries when we arrived at the beach.

It was one of the loveliest vacations ever. A big part of it was, again, communicating the expectations upfront and getting agreement.

Even if you don’t agree…
I’ve vacationed with friends who enjoy the nightlife more than I do. Before we left, I told them I would probably join them for one night but would be hitting the sack early the rest of the time. (Sleep is always a priority for me!)

Even though we chose different activities, we were respectful of each other’s wishes. And that respect helped keep the friendships alive after the vacation! (heh)

How do I discuss expectations with my family?
Opening the door to discuss expectations is simple. Just say, “Before we leave, I’d like to discuss what everyone wants from this vacation to make sure we all have a good time. What do you want to get out of this trip? Relaxation? Excitement? Sight-seeing?”

People like being heard, and your family members (teens included!) will appreciate that you cared enough to ask. So don’t be shy — ask them!

Have a refreshing, productive day and a relaxing vacation!

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Posted in communication, interpersonal communication, relationships

Tagged communication, effective communication, expectations, interpersonal communication, relationships

Social media and texting etiquette (A rant)

Posted on June 2010 | 3 Comments

Occasionally I want to rant about something, and today’s the day. My rant is about social media and texting etiquette.

I was taught that, when in face-to-face conversation, you give the person your full attention. That was the polite thing to do. Face-to-face communication always took priority, and it included eye contact.

But with the introduction of social media and texting, the electronic gadget-of-choice now seems to take priority over everything. It’s like having a conversation with someone who is continually glancing at the door, waiting for someone better or more important to enter.

I think this is rude. It’s also frustrating because the person doesn’t remember the conversation, and you have to repeat it. Again and again. (sigh…)

Does that make me old-fashioned or behind the times? Nope. I believe it simply means that my priorities are different than the social media/text-aholics in our midst.

I recently told someone what to expect at a social media meeting. I said, “They’ll give you a brief second of ‘hello,’ then all you see is the top of their heads as they get back to texting, tweeting and updating their status. Eye-to-eye contact is non-existent.” He didn’t seem too enthusiastic about attending at that point.

Don’t kill the messenger (or application)
Please understand that I’m not trashing social media and texting itself. I use these tools and appreciate the convenience they offer. If your phone rings or alerts you, I have no problem with you checking to see who it is. I do it myself. And if it’s important, I expect you to take the call or text, just like I would.

The people I’m talking about are the folks who can’t pay attention to an entire sentence because they’re so distracted, waiting for the next tweet or text to come in.

You may be thinking, “Oh, that’s not me. I’m a good multi-tasker. I don’t offend others with my actions.” But here’s a secret:

If you’ve been even slightly uncomfortable while reading this post, it’s probably you. You think we don’t see you doing the sideways glance or tweeting/texting under the table, but we do. And it affects our impression of you. Dramatically.

Whether you’re at work or at play, your commitment to your electronic device has a drastic effect on others’ perception of you. You just need to decide what that perception will be, from this point forward.

Have a refreshing and productive day of politeness and good manners!

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Posted in communication, etiquette, interpersonal communication, non-verbal communication, social media

Tagged communication, effective communication, etiquette, interpersonal communication, non-verbal communication, relationships, social media

Tag Archives: communication

Are You Communicating a Good First Impression?

Are You Kidding Me?!

Make Their Decision a Simple One

Writing Business Emails

The Quiet Response to Being Spammed By Someone You Know

WHAT PEOPLE SAY BEHIND YOUR BACK

MY SUBCONSCIOUS RESPONSE

Communicating a Need

An Important Life Lesson

Back to my Car Story…

Are you “that guy?”

Improve self-communication through your dreams

Communicating expectations makes family vacations fun

My Favorite Quote

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