Communicating with touch can be…well, a “touchy” subject for some. When I think of communicating with touch, I initially think of hugs, handshakes, shoulder pats and kisses. Sounds nice, doesn’t it?
I recently had a couple of experiences that left me feeling “less than nice” because they were both so unusual.
Example 1
Last weekend, I was standing in line with my box at the post office. Suddenly, the man behind me started pulling on the scarf around my neck. I looked at him and he gave me a weird smile…but didn’t say a word.
I immediately pulled away and gave him my back. When the postal worker called me, I quickly paid for postage and left.
When driving out of the parking lot, the man was leaving the building and staring at me. I asked my mother if she knew him. She said, “No, I don’t. Did he say anything?” I said, “No, and that’s what made it so creepy.”
In this case, a few words instead of a touch would have worked much better. At least I wouldn’t have been totally creeped out!
Example 2
Last week, I was filming a sad and tragic scene that centered around a hospital bed where the son was about to die. I was the grieving mother.
When the director said, “Action,” the guy playing my husband started squeezing my hand so tightly that I nearly screamed out loud. I tried quietly squirming away from him as the film rolled, but he didn’t take the hint.
After the scene was over, I asked him not to squeeze my hand so tightly. He said okay but kept doing it. I asked again, he said okay and kept doing it. Another cast member and a tech guy reiterated what I said but alas, to no avail.
I couldn’t figure out why he kept squeezing my hand so hard. I knew I communicated directly and succinctly, and I knew he was a nice man.
After the next take, I used a firm voice to tell him to stop hurting me. At last, the light bulb went on and we got through the next take pain-free.
In this case, words didn’t work to affect the touch…until they were delivered loudly and intentionally. I said to “stop hurting me” instead of “stop squeezing my hand.” That did the trick. Granted, my poor lil’ fingers weren’t too happy but at least they got a reprieve!
If you want to communicate with touch in a way that’s welcome, hug a loved one. Take a moment to hug your kids, your significant other, a friend or a family member. It’s amazing how this type of communication can encourage someone and quickly brighten their day.
Have a refreshing and productive week!
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