Communicating with relatives during the holidays can be challenging. Whether it’s your grandmother who’s hard of hearing, your Uncle Fred who calls himself the “King of Pun,” or your Cousin Mildred who never forgave you for beating her out for a spot on the cheerleading squad, communicating with the family can bring up old feelings and unresolved issues.

The phrase “meanings are in people, not in words” has never been truer than at family gatherings. Meanings are also in experiences. We all bring our own perspective to every experience and attach meaning accordingly. Even two siblings in the same household can attach different meanings to the same experience.

For example:  When I was four years old, my mother took my older brother and me to summer children’s theater. From the moment the curtain went up, I was mesmerized with every detail of Rapunzel’s story.

I quickly fell in love with live theater and couldn’t take my eyes off the stage. The experience was so rich and so amazing. It was a significant moment for me. It was the moment I knew that I would be an actor.

Years later, after I had been on-stage for a while, I told my family about how my first theater experience affected me so deeply. My brother looked a bit puzzled, paused for a moment, then said, “We went to children’s theater?”

Different Perspectives =
Different Meanings for the Same Experience

Over the holidays if a relative responds to you with a terse “What do you mean by that?,” don’t fret. Just relax and embrace the moment. Ask questions to discover more about your relative and the “whys” behind the meaning he or she assigns to experiences, phrases or words.

Even if you don’t agree with each other, at least you’ll be one step closer to understanding that family member a little better.

Have a refreshing weekend!

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