February 26, 2010

Easy communication clears out the cobwebs

Posted by Michelle I. Zavala under communication, interpersonal communication, listening, relationships, talking | Tags: , , , , , |
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I am swamped. Getting hit with deadlines left and right. And it’s all due today. Ugh. In spite of a time crunch, I’ve managed to communicate with a few friends and family members over the past couple of days.

All I can say is: Wow. What a difference! Diverting my attention for even 10-15 minutes clears out the cobwebs and gets me re-focused on the work.

I’m not talking about communicating electronically like email, Facebook or Skype. I mean face-to-face or ear-to-phone conversations that uplift and refresh. Good, ol’ fashioned talking.

Give it a try today.  Gotta run, but wishing you a Refreshing and Productive day!

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February 18, 2010

Let go of your schedule to re-discover what’s really important

Posted by Michelle I. Zavala under creative flow, creativity | Tags: , , , |
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I made a deal with my Creativity Partner to do something creative every day for 15 minutes. Simple, right? You set the timer, you be creative, then you get up when the timer goes off.

I’ve done it ONCE over the past two weeks. Once! That’s not a significant time demand, is it? What’s the problem?

Deadlines.

Right now I am overwhelmed with projects — which is a good thing — but my hours are eaten away by work…and sleep.

Yesterday morning, I cleared my calendar of the personal commitments I make to myself like creativity and exercise. I left only necessary conference calls and appointments for the next couple of weeks. And let me tell you, it was quite freeing.

I was extremely productive yesterday and kept all the commitments on my calendar. I didn’t feel I was letting myself down because I didn’t see any extra commitments that I couldn’t fulfill.

For right now, my priorities are my clients and my deadlines. I realized that while I enjoy being disciplined and make commitments to keep myself  healthy and happy, they are still commitments that hang over my head and poke at the back of my brain. So occasionally, it’s okay to get rid of them.

And you want to hear the strangest thing?

Since I let go of creativity and exercise yesterday, I ended up squeezing in my 15 minutes of play along with a quick workout. Both of these refresh me so thoroughly that I’m excited about getting back to work!

If you’re feeling “scheduled-out,” why not let go of the calendar for a few days? The important things always work their way to the top, if you just relax a little. And for you Type-A personalities, breathe deeply and think, “It’s not forever. It’s just for a couple of days.”

Have a refreshing and productive day!

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February 10, 2010

Affinity simplifies communication

Posted by Michelle I. Zavala under communication, interpersonal communication, relationships, speaking, talking | Tags: , , , , , |
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Affinity:  A natural attraction, liking, or feeling of kinship

Affinity is when you “click” with someone or a group of people. It simplifies communication — It makes communication easier and encourages camaraderie. And you can’t make affinity happen. It generally occurs with or without your agreement.

If you feel like you’re not “connecting” with folks around you, maybe you need a group that offers you a common reference point.

For example I’m a Texas Ex, an alum of the University of Texas at Austin. (If you don’t follow college football, the Longhorns were competing for the national championship in January.)

I went alone to watch the game with my fellow alumni. I knew I’d find someone to talk to.

I came into a room full of Texas Exes a little late.  I chatted with a couple of guys at the bar, who gave me a play-by-play of the game. I then plopped down next to two friendly couples. We cheered together, we despaired together.

Though we came from different walks of life, our common topic — the Longhorns — quickly opened a door to conversation. We talked easily about the game and other topics. Communication with them was a breeze.

I experience the same thing with my improvisation group, ComedySportz. It’s composed of a bunch of zany folks, including actors. As an actor, I sometimes feel like people just don’t “get” me. But with these folks, it feels like “coming home.” We talk and laugh easily even though we come from different walks of life and have different perspectives on life. I love having a safe place to play and hang out with my “peeps.” They mean the world to me.

Sometimes having just one common point of reference can make all the difference in how authentic your communication will be. Look around for your own little Cheers so you can have a place “where everybody knows your name and they’re always glad you came.” It can be a great comfort knowing your peeps “get” you and where you’re coming from…even when other folks don’t.

Lyrics to Cheers theme song
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
And they’re always glad you came;
You want to be where you can see,
Our troubles are all the same;
You want to be where everybody knows your name.

You want to go where people know,
People are all the same;
You want to go where everybody knows your name.

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January 29, 2010

A simple, three-step process to give a GREAT Valentine’s gift this year

Posted by Michelle I. Zavala under communication, etiquette, interpersonal communication, writing | Tags: , , , , , , |
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Pssst…Valentine’s Day is in a couple of weeks. In our electronic age, you may consider handwritten notes old-fashioned and outdated. But that’s the beauty of them. Giving a heartfelt note is something completely different and unexpected.

You can tell your loved ones (significant others, parents, children, grandparents, friends) how much you care about them in three steps that fit easily into your schedule. Reprinted from February 2009 newsletter

Happy Writing!

Step One
The first week of February:

  • Set aside at least 15 – 20 minutes of uninterrupted time. Schedule more time during the week if needed.
  • Jot down the names of your loved ones.
  • For each person on your list, quickly write down one or two of their favorite traits, habits or quirks. That includes a wacky sense of humor, making your favorite meal when you’re feeling down, being a good listener, or showing kindness to others.

Step Two
Over the weekend:

  • Buy a card for each person, or buy enough blank notecards for everyone on your list.

Step Three
The second week of February:

Set aside at least half an hour of uninterrupted time. For each bullet point below, use as many sentences as you need to express yourself fully. This is your note, so develop it as you like. Combine sentences, add traits, reminisce — The choice is yours.

Begin with Dear [insert name],

  • Describe what you like about that trait(s) or action(s).
    >  I love hearing you laugh when we watch television together.
    >  My favorite times are when we get into great conversations while we’re cooking dinner.
    >  No matter how busy you are, I appreciate the way you always take time to listen to me.
  • Tell them how the trait/action makes you feel.
    >  I feel so safe when you hug me after a rough day at work.
    >  My heart feels so full when I watch you pray with my grandmother at the nursing home.
    >  I feel so flattered when you brag about me to your father.
  • Offer a thank you or encouragement to your loved one.
    >  Thank you for loving me as you do.
    >  I am blessed to have you in my life.
    >  How did I get so lucky to have a daughter like you?

Finally, close your message with “Be My Valentine” or “I Love You” or whatever you’re comfortable with…then sign your name.

That’s it! You’ve just given your loved one the most personal gift ever:  A message tailored especially for him or her.

Never underestimate the power of simplicity. Consider offering your note with a single rose.

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January 5, 2010

Tips and Tools for Your 2010 Life Design

Posted by Michelle I. Zavala under books, creativity, learning, reading | Tags: , , , , |
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Happy New Year! I won’t ask if you made any resolutions. On December 31, I’ll just ask if you kept your resolutions. That seems to be the hard part for everyone!

Personally, I don’t make resolutions. I try to evaluate throughout the year and adjust as needed. However, I’m all in favor of celebrating a new year — Here are a few items I’ve come across recently that may help you in 2010:

Tracking Your Progress
You can track just about anything with Daytum.com. Diet, exercise, creating a new habit, etc. I’ve been tracking a few items since mid-December. Click here to check out my data. While I’ll be making some changes to this list, I wanted to show you a few ways to use the display tools.

The first five or six displays are free. After that, there’s a small monthly charge to add more.

Healthy Digestion
About 70 percent of your immune system lives in your gut, so keeping your digestive tract on-track is key in staying healthy. Here’s a simple tip: Don’t eat a protein with a starch.

Proteins use acidic enzymes (pepsin) for digestion, while starches use alkaline enzymes. When you eat a protein and starch together, the enzymes neutralize each other and don’t allow you to fully digest your food.

The result is digestive stress such as gas, heartburn, cramps, bloating, constipation and more. Allergies have even been attributed to improper food combining.

Online you can find plenty of information on food combining, or trophology. Here’s a chart to give you a quick overview of different foods.

Managing Your Priorities and Your Time
I love Julie Morgenstern’s book, Time Management from the Inside Out. I try to read it at least once a year to help me regroup. This book takes even the most time-challenged of us from basic tasks to defining priorities to designing the life you want.

For 2010, I’m moving two important things in my life — Creativity and Learning — to mornings. Mornings are my “peak times,” and I like getting an early start on the day.

Previously, I tried being creative and learning new things in the early evening, which was frustrating because I’m generally tired and ready to relax by then. This one change has given me a surprising amount of energy and focus for the day!

Can you make one small change in your schedule to get an energy boost when you need it most?

The Pareto Principle (or the 80/20 Rule)
I’m rereading Living the 80/20 Way by Richard Koch. You know how it works:  80% of your results come from 20% of your efforts. Topics include “Focus on Your Best 20 Percent,” Enjoy Work and Success,” and “Relationships the 80/20 Way.”

Productivity
The #1 rule of productivity is:  Do every task only once. Do-overs are great on the playground, but not at work.

Do you have any tips or tools to help manage your time, keep you focused or give you energy? Share them! Click “leave a comment” at the top of this post.

Here’s to a successful 2010!

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December 16, 2009

Authentic Communication

Posted by Michelle I. Zavala under communication, interpersonal communication | Tags: , , |
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Communicating authentically means being yourself when you communicate. It also means communicating your truth to others, whether you’re speaking, writing or listening.

I recently attended a Christmas luncheon that was scheduled from noon to 1:30 p.m. After announcements were made, we all got back to chatting. Then we waited. And waited. And waited.

When the entree was served at 1:15 p.m., it was cold. Guests started to drift out before dessert came and by the time it arrived at 1:40 p.m., about 80 percent of the guests had left to get back to work.

When asked to complete a comment card that would go to the restaurant management I simply wrote, “In spite of slow service, it was worth the wait!” And this was the truth — it was worth the wait because the soup and dessert were quite tasty!

A woman at my table was horrified. “That’s a left-handed compliment,” she said. “I can’t believe you wrote that.” Then I wondered:

Is telling the truth considered rude if you make someone aware of a problem or help them improve?

When I started my business 10 years ago, I sent a survey after a project was completed. I asked clients to tell me about their experience working with me. What did I do right? More importantly, what didn’t I do right?

The second question was more important to me than the first one. I was new to running a business, and I wanted to learn. While I cringed at some of the comments, I appreciated the honesty and worked hard to improve.

  • What do you do in a situation like slow service at a restaurant or when completing surveys?
  • Do you speak authentically? Or do you “pretty it up” so you don’t hurt feelings or upset anyone?
  • If you don’t speak authentically, why? Is there a reason you don’t speak your truth when the goal is to help someone improve or make them aware of a problem?

Click “Leave a comment” at the top of this post and let’s hear your truth! Have a refreshing and productive day!

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December 11, 2009

Family Communication Over the Holidays

Posted by Michelle I. Zavala under communication, interpersonal communication, relationships | Tags: , , , |
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Communicating with relatives during the holidays can be challenging. Whether it’s your grandmother who’s hard of hearing, your Uncle Fred who calls himself the “King of Pun,” or your Cousin Mildred who never forgave you for beating her out for a spot on the cheerleading squad, communicating with the family can bring up old feelings and unresolved issues.

The phrase “meanings are in people, not in words” has never been truer than at family gatherings. Meanings are also in experiences. We all bring our own perspective to every experience and attach meaning accordingly. Even two siblings in the same household can attach different meanings to the same experience.

For example:  When I was four years old, my mother took my older brother and me to summer children’s theater. From the moment the curtain went up, I was mesmerized with every detail of Rapunzel’s story.

I quickly fell in love with live theater and couldn’t take my eyes off the stage. The experience was so rich and so amazing. It was a significant moment for me. It was the moment I knew that I would be an actor.

Years later, after I had been on-stage for a while, I told my family about how my first theater experience affected me so deeply. My brother looked a bit puzzled, paused for a moment, then said, “We went to children’s theater?”

Different Perspectives =
Different Meanings for the Same Experience

Over the holidays if a relative responds to you with a terse “What do you mean by that?,” don’t fret. Just relax and embrace the moment. Ask questions to discover more about your relative and the “whys” behind the meaning he or she assigns to experiences, phrases or words.

Even if you don’t agree with each other, at least you’ll be one step closer to understanding that family member a little better.

Have a refreshing weekend!

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December 8, 2009

How Well Can You Detect a Lie?

Posted by Michelle I. Zavala under communication | Tags: , , |
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Non-verbal communication has always intrigued me. I really enjoy the television show “Lie to Me,” which airs Mondays on Fox. The show focuses on the scientific side of reading non-verbal clues in the face, body and voice to determine if someone is lying. Tim Roth stars as the world’s leading deception expert, and his team works on a variety of criminal cases.

Though they can tell when someone is lying, they don’t know why the person is lying. And that makes the show all the more interesting.

Here are some tests to see how well you can detect a lie. To learn more about behavioral science, check out Dr. Paul Ekman’s site. He offers a free newsletter and a blog. He was also voted TIME Magazine’s Top 100 Most Influential People of 2009.

Have a refreshing and productive day!

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December 3, 2009

Craving Simplicity, Part 2

Posted by Michelle I. Zavala under communication, writing | Tags: , , |
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In my last post, I addressed my obsession with simplifying and clearing the clutter in my home, my office and my relationships. Now I want to address the need for simplicity in communication, specifically writing. Here are a few examples:

Example 1:  I write direct mail copy/content and the end of the year is the time for non-profits to reach out to current and prospective donors. I’m always fascinated with the “non-profit speak” that creeps into the wording of even the simplest activities.

The bottom line is that if donors don’t understand your internal jargon, they won’t write a check or click the Donate button.

Simple Tip: When writing direct mail pieces, keep language simple and straightforward. Write in a friendly but professional tone that lets readers easily see the benefits of responding to your offer.

Example 2:  Jargon isn’t limited to non-profits. I recently helped a client update a few answers for general proposal questions. “Corporate speak” had crept into just about every answer they were submitting, so they asked me to clean things up a bit.

This client’s answers had evolved (a.k.a expanded) over time and had so much extraneous information that the response was buried. I simplified these answers dramatically in order to answer the question concisely and directly.

Simple Tip: You can improve your credibility with reviewers by reading each question carefully and responding specifically. “Padding” answers with extra information is distracting and may affect a reviewer’s perception of your company and its capabilities.

Example 3: Years ago, I was hired to revamp a client’s communication department. The organization’s newsletter had evolved into a time-consuming beast of convoluted topics. When I asked what the purpose of the newsletter was, no one could tell me.

Because things were busy, the newsletter didn’t go out and no one said a word. A second month, then a third went by and still, no comments or complaints.

The reality was that this publication may have originally had a strong readership but, because it lost its focus, it was no longer useful. Eliminating the newsletter ended up saving the client about $10,000 a year and freed up valuable employee time.

Simple Tip: December is a great month to evaluate and simplify your communications for 2010. Are your communication vehicles still hitting the mark, or have they lost the focus that made them so valuable in the first place?

Be clear, concise and focused in  your writing so your message will get heard. And write with this in mind:

My [newsletter, blog, email, memo, etc.] is not the only thing this person is reading. Keep it simple.

Have a refreshing and productive day!

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December 1, 2009

Craving Simplicity, Part 1

Posted by Michelle I. Zavala under creativity | Tags: , , , |
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I have a pattern in my creativity. I get blocked for a while then suddenly, I become practically obsessed with organizing and clearing the clutter in every part of my life:  home, relationships, office, work, communication. You name it, I want it clean and simple.

I’ve been feeling “creatively blah” lately, then this overpowering need started about a month ago. It’s become increasingly distracting to my daily life. I feel that if I don’t clear out NOW, I cannot move forward. On any front.

I’m not sure any obsession is healthy but on the upside, this one has forced me to take action. Here are a few things I’ve done so far (I’ll be addressing simplicity in communication in the next post).

  • Clutter:  I tried selling items online a few times this year but alas, I only got rid of a couple of things. So I’m giving Craig’s List and eBay one more try and if they don’t sell this time — Goodwill, here I come!
  • Relationships:  For me, simplicity in relationships means focusing on the folks who bring joy to my life. I also view simplifying as creating a healthy distance between myself and “high-maintenance” people who drain me.
  • Paperwork:  I’m slowly getting through the big pile that used to be many piles. (If I were better about filing, this wouldn’t be an issue. ) I keep threatening to go paperless, but I’m still searching for the right scanner. Any suggestions?
  • Work:  I’m starting a new online business while keeping my writing and marketing business going. This requires clarity and focus, so I’ve narrowed goals dramatically to keep my “eye on the prize” and ensure that it all gets done.
  • Social Media:  Over Thanksgiving, I deleted accounts on social networks I never use. I unfriended and unfollowed more than 100  people/businesses and wow, did it feel good! And I’ve decided to limit all blog posts to 500 words…unless I need more.

I especially like this last one on blog entries. I’m following in the footsteps of Leo Babauta who writes Zen Habits, a blog on simplicity and clearing the clutter. He also writes a blog on minimalism, which is where he decided to limit blog posts to 400 words.

As strange as it sounds, I find the 500-word limit quite freeing. I hope it will motivate me to write a little more often.

  • Have you ever felt that if you didn’t take action on something right NOW, you wouldn’t be able to more forward?
  • If so, what was it? Clearing clutter? Making a phone call? Cleaning old files or dust off your computer? Managing your time?

Click “Leave a comment” at the top of this entry and speak your truth. Have a refreshing and productive day!

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